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When you are feeling down, verify you do enough of the following -

1. Drinking water
2. Exercise
3. Cold showers
4. Cold walks
5. Eat fresh protein, vegetables and fruit
6. Not over the recommended alcohol limit
7. intermittent fasting - at least 11 hours per day

I signed a full time contract 1 year ago and at it took some adjustment at first. Within a few weeks, I was motivated and back on the goal achieving track. I began to think my emotion roller coaster life was over and that I had finally conquered myself. I made big progress in the areas of personal investment and taxation status, agreed on house improvements with a builder and architect, regularly studied motivational texts, reduced drinking to weekends only , built strong bonds with children's school and colleagues. However, the rumination over the past continued.

As the year drew to a close, I became busier and busier. I was overloaded and made a bad estimate of a major task. The project was canned in the end but it contributed to sent me on a download spiral. At the same time I launched a personal programming project which ate lots of my time but was never completed. The kids became ever more difficult to calm and required more and more attention. I started drinking frequently to escape and overeating. The quality of my profressional work stayed high but my planning was critisized. Every other area of life fell. I began to build a negative image of myself - a middle-aged hard working overeating drinker - stuck in his ways - just like my dad. The low point came on the skiing holiday - the pressure of one week pent up which those kids - I exploded at my son in front of everyone - called him a spoiled little shit. My wife nearly left with my other son. I fell in to an emotional tough for months. Living day by day, no planning, no goals. I arrived home everyday around 6 and sank a beer quickly to numb the pain of those tired screaming kids. I would stuff myself full of food in the evenings. My sleep became erratic. My wife sighed - thinking I will never change. I felt disgusted when I looked at myself in the mirror. In the weekend, I took every opportunity to numb myself with wine. My son's school test results be pretty bad, he won't go up to the next grade. I started a Dutch course but was unmotivated.

On March 19, I made some changes.

I limit myself to one glass of good wine per meal, nearly always with my wife. I stopped eating between meals and slowed myself down by drinking plenty of water. In the pool, I swan longer distances. At work, I started proper planning and learned some good technique to avoid overshooting deadlines. I started a new personal programming project - a planning tool. When the kids come downstairs in the morning, my computer goes off and the TV stays off.  We are building a habit of sitting down at the table to draw talk or write.

Shortly after that change I was hit but the worst flu and bout of sickness that I had experienced in years. I was dizzy and lacked energy. On top of that, I recieved more bad news - the townhall refused planning permission. I could have easily fallen back in to a trough but I stayed the course of correct eating, drinking with sufficient exercise and time to study with my son. I began to feel hope coming back and felt pround of myself again.

19 days, still recovering my health but going strong!

Step out of the current of your thought and observe from the shore

Family

• Regular activities with children and friends
• Education goals planned and moving forward
• Wife happy with own activites and friends
• Babysitter, regular help

Finance

• Clear picture of portfolio, fees, taxes, budget, and projections
• Constantly evolving investment strategy
• Earn at least as much as I spend
• All dividends and interest re-invested
• Separate personal finance for risk-taking financial activity
• Do my own tax returns with sign off from an accountant
• Plan for ugrading to a better house
• Plan for the next financial crisis or boom
• Plan for 34 The Mall

House

• All issues mentioned report have been dealt with, 
• Cost effective improvements researched and implemented
• Improve organisation, storage, a place for everything or it must sold, given away
• Shed cleaned out and everything has a place, not lying around in piles

Occupation

• Work near home 6 - 12 months per year
• Know all SAP teams close to home and their prefered agents
• Studying new module
• Researching outsourcing idea
• Comptetance Dutch speaker

Health

• Improve cooking
• Learn about nutrition
• Vegetarian